I shot this image two weeks ago and finished editing the night before my birthday last week. It is a very simple image but holds a lot of meaning for me. Letting go and living freely from all ones demons has been something I thought a lot in the past months and I have actively worked towards that freedom. The night before my personal new year started I made the decision that it's time to shake things of and "dance freely". I wanted to remember this feeling with this image and published it that night.
I have had three exhibitions so far. All of them showing my other photographic work which you can see on www.busybee.at. Every time I was nervous, every time was nerve-wracking. With these fine art portraits I thought that it would take me much longer to build up the courage to show them publicly, printed and framed, on a wall, spotlights on. Surprisingly, it didn't take me that long. The thought WAS nerve-wracking but then everything happened very fast.
I got a lot of encouragement from the people around me, a date was set, images selected, printed, hung. Instead of planning an opening and making myself even more nervous, I decided against an opening and went with the "they hang, it's too late anyway" attitude ;) . An exhibition is always unnerving. But it gets really bad when it takes place in your hometown. Many people know you, see you around town and many of them see your images. In the grocery store, or anywhere else, you start seeing yourself as "the girl dressed in blue fabric, emerging from a giant birds nest". It is pretty funny when you really think about it!
Nerves and insecurities aside, the images are received really well (at least that's what I heard) and for me it was a bit of an ice breaker. If I do get the chance to show my new work again towards the end of 2016, I will feel less nervous and I can promise right now that my images will be bolder :)
Typically, I sell my images "off the wall" and they are sent or delivered after the exhibition ended or customers can order prints without the frame, I collect the order forms and get to work. It doesn't happen too often that I get to meet buyers. The day before New Year's Eve I DID meet buyers from Denmark that had decided to purchase the image "Curiosity". This was absolutely exciting and it made me truly happy to package and hand over this "little piece of me" personally. The buyers told me where they lived (an island in the North Sea!) and what meaning the image has for them. BEST part of my exhibition adventure! :) These are the brief moments that are the BIG reward for working on concepts, finding dresses and props, shooting in awkward places and/or positions, and hour-long, sometimes daylong edits. It reminds you why you create. I don't create to use up space on my computer's hard disk. This would be a very lonely and unfulfilling existence. I create and give a small piece of myself which then finds a new home, gets new meaning, and, hopefully, makes somebody happy!
I meant to write and publish a new blog post two days ago. I didn't, I do it now. My desire to jump right back in and create was greater then writing in my blog so I did just that - I shot and edited. And this brings me straight to one of my resolutions (or intentions) for this new year. Last year was, in many ways, one big, giant lesson in my personal as well as photographic life.
One of the lessons learned is being able to act right away or at least as soon as possible on your plans, wishes, and goals. Don't contemplate something for too long.. Just trust your intuition and do it! Or, on the opposite end, let go of actions, habits, situations, or even people that are a big negative in your life, that don't make you feel good, bring you down, make you sad, disappoint you or are simply unhealthy for you. So far, in these first 13 days of 2016, I'm pretty happy with myself because I am taking this intention to heart and act on it.
I knew I wanted to start shooting my fine art portraits again and I tried to plan shoots and I was overthinking it. Yesterday morning I threw all plans out the window, got into one of my new dresses (thank you, santa!), set up my camera, re-arranged our living room, and spent a good hour crawling in and out of the living room cabinet. In the evening, I edited and was fairly happy with the result (considering I got a bit rusty). I finished the edit this morning, I am completely sore from my little shoot, and just very happy that i am back into it.
Along with changes in my personal life and in my way of thinking in many areas, along with lessons learned and much trial and error, I know this will be a super exciting new year with plenty of chaos and adventure, all of which makes life awesome! I will spend plenty of quality time with my little family (my husband and our two adorable kittens); I will make more time to shoot my fine art photographs and finally realize some long-planned shoots (see what I mean?); I will fully dive into my commercial portrait photography; ....oh, and I will finally get my dusty, old bicycle out of its temporary (like...10 years....) resting place and use it again ;)
My own list of 2016 "intentions" goes on and on. What are your intentions and goals for this year? Feel free to share a little in the comments and help inspire others :)
Finally, I want to wish you all a wonderful, inspired, healthy, and adventurous NEW YEAR!!
P.S.: Here is a small glimpse into my personal 2015. Another look back and then....ONLY forward! :)
"People are born everyday. Ideas and views and goals and dreams. Born every day. In fact, every second of every day. Giving birth is hard. Not only the baby from a mother's womb. But the birth this child has to give throughout its life, again and again. To ideas and views and goals and dreams. And friendships and relationships and new selves. This, I claim, is the hardest type of giving birth. When you want to re-invent yourself. When you need to let go of things known and deliver the unknown. There is pain involved. And great joy."
I wrote the above quote down a long time ago and thought it was so perfect for the image. Unfortunately, I did not write down the author! So, let's just enjoy these beautiful words, let them sink in.....and probably never find out who came up with them.... ;)
I worked on this image last week but had shot the components a few weeks ago. I'm not entirely happy with the result and chances are that I will take this piece offline eventually and start editing (and possibly shooting) from scratch. The process, though, was a fun experience and I recorded the editing process - purely for your viewing pleasure :)
It is not hard to tell that this piece is a "part 2" of my image Guarding Dreams. I do plan and sketch out some of my images or at least start shooting and editing with a specific idea in mind. Guarding Dreams and Stand Guard developed simply because I wanted to do something cool with a key ;) During the editing process, however, one of my strongest traits emerged and took control - to protect the people I love, our home, goals and dreams, principles, and sanctuaries. I'm sure many people can relate to that. This is also what makes the editing process so interesting to me. I start out with a fun prop and end up with an image in front of me that, at best, is Sabine in a nutshell ;) I don't consciously think about a specific message, it somehow pops up and manifests itself in an image. The creative process is just full of surprises!
I hope you like this piece and get a kick out of the video below! If you would like to see a few more speed edits that you might have missed in the past, visit my YouTube channel, drop a like, or, even better, subscribe :)